So this morning, I brushed my teeth twice as long and finished it off with a shot of Listerene just to be sure… Last night I had a dream. I was at some sort of red carpet event when all of a sudden, this beautiful woman walks up to me. It was Kristin Cavallari. She [...]
So this morning, I brushed my teeth twice as long and finished it off with a shot of Listerene just to be sure…
Last night I had a dream. I was at some sort of red carpet event when all of a sudden, this beautiful woman walks up to me.
It was Kristin Cavallari.
She saunters up in probably one of the hottest dresses I have ever seen and basically inches her way closer to me. Obviously, she has no issues with personal space, but I’m freaking out. The first thought wasn’t “Is she going to kiss me?” or even “Wow, she looks good!”
No.
My first thought was, “I probably shouldn’t have had that Animal-Style Double-Double for lunch, you know, in the off chance Kristin Cavallari would be inches away from my face.”
Strangely enough, she didn’t kiss me. But I happened to randomly have a necklace in my pocket for her…you know, in the off chance she would be inches away from my face. So I put it around her neck, closed the clasp…and woke up.
Then I brushed my teeth for 20 minutes…you know, in the off chance Kristin Cavallari would be inches away from my face when I got to work.