Aaron Riveroll | Photographer

I guess I must be this magnet for inappropriateness today. Again, I’m not offended easily…I just think it’s funny that weird stuff is around every turn…

A few months ago, I was sitting at home alone on a Friday night (pathetic, I know…) and there was a ruckus about in the back yard. It was mostly hyena-esque laughter and loud-talking, but you could hear everything from my living room. It was a party or small gathering of some sort; and it lasted all night long. I finally had to call it a night because it was getting annoying.

Well, tonight was the same sort of deal. As I was chilling in the living room, I heard large amounts of laughter and this chick with one of the loudest voices ever. I decided to get a closer look, so I walked out on the deck and started to eavesdrop a little. Imagine my surprise when I discovered what kind of party it was.

It was a sex toy party. There was a group of people sitting out in back of this house, a sales lady who was talking abnormally loud, and a giant inflatable penis leaning up against the wall. She was explaining all the benefits to toys and the different types, etc. She seemed quite knowledgeable. If you were ever in the market for any sort of pleasure device, I’m sure she could hook you up.

However, I didn’t stay long enough to hear the sales pitch. I promptly left after a few minutes. Spaghetti was calling me. I also think any other dude in my shoes would head in the opposite direction after spotting a giant Johnson.

Anyway, gotta run. Iron chef is on. I’m not sure what’s on the menu tonight; perhaps spotted possum guts? Or maybe sea urchin? Maybe they’ll make ice cream out of eel. I can’t wait to find out.

I am usually not the type to get embarrassed or grossed out easily. As evidence, I reference the “Half Cat” incident from my PLNU days. Didn’t bother me. I also have a sister, so “girl talk” don’t bother me none neither.

But wow, talk about inappropriateness. I was sitting at Wendy’s just eating my lunch enjoying some alone time when a conversation struck up between a couple sitting a few tables away.

Taking into consideration the fact that they were a few tables away, I shouldn’t have been able to hear them at all over the soothing, mellowness of the muzak playing…but alas, I was able to hear them.

And I actually wasn’t that embarrased. But I think I would have been less embarrassed if I wasn’t eating lunch. Or if I wasn’t sitting in a Wendy’s restaurant. Or if I were a gynecologist.