Aaron Riveroll | Photographer

For the past week, I’ve been trying to convince myself that I am fine…that this brief moment of stupidity I had a week from today was a mistake. I’m also trying to convince myself I’m cool…but I just realized the reason it’s so stifling in here is because my window was closed. What an idiot I am…

Okay, window is now open, and I am still an idiot. You see, not only am I lying about being fine, I’m lying about other things. For instance, carpe diem. Seizing the day. Getting stuff out. Being unlike me. A few weeks ago, I wrote about this very subject…when feelings were at an all-time high and I had been contemplating the prospect of talking about them. I advocated the whole “say what you feel” thing, wanting very much to talk about what was on my mind. Yet, for the past week I’ve been telling myself that it was a mistake.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. The fact is it’s out there. And there isn’t anything I can do to change it. At least I know now. No “what-ifs.” No regrets.

She said something to me; she said we weren’t a good fit. She said a lot of other things too, that I’d rather not dwell on…but maybe she’s right…in a lot of ways we aren’t a good fit. For one, she’s too good for me. But gosh darn it, there are so many ways we are a good fit…and that’s the frustrating thing. It could be so good.

Do you ever get frustrated? I can’t work on puzzles because of my short attention span. Sometimes, I just wish I could jam any two pieces together just to make the puzzle work. I mean, jeez, what does Milton Bradley know anyway? They could have easily made a mistake and put the wrong pieces in the box, in which case I would be totally screwed and wasting my time trying to find the right piece.

I like this line from The Postal Service, which says, “…I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces…”

I may be right in thinking we could be a good fit. But something like this can’t be forced. Despite my reasons for thinking it could work, maybe there is something else there. I don’t know. And I may never know. But I guess this is me accepting the fact that it was good to get it out. Knowing is better. Out of all the people that could have kicked me in the crotch, I’m glad it was her.

It’s amazing the clarity and confusion you get after a hot shower.

It’s been a slow email day, which in some ways is good; that just means I don’t get all the spam sex emails or the ads for Viagra. But it also means no one’s writing to me, which is sort of sad. It’s a three-day weekend, so that just means you are probably out and about, doing bigger and better things. And that’s good. :)

So I totally think I should have studied something financial. Or should be doing something in sales. I have no real basis for this realization, other than the fact that I am ten times more qualified to sell something than most of the morons that work in retail. For instance, I go to Fry’s yesterday. Now I realize this isn’t saying much since I think the management at Fry’s have developed this “hire losersâ€? philosophy in which they go out and find the dumbest, sloppiest bunch of doofuses to work in their stores. They pretty much are not even qualified to stand on a piece of parchment to prevent it from blowing away, thus establishing that a paper weight has more value and skill than a Fry’s salesperson. Don’t get me wrong, Fry’s is still the place to get high-quality goods at low prices. But don’t go in there expecting assistance from a salesperson. I asked a dude where their “WiFi locators” were and his response was, “I’ve never heard of that before.â€? I was like, “Uh, okay…â€? realizing that I would have to go it alone on this quest for useless gadgetry. The guy walked off, probably not realizing that I found him to be the most useless individual I had met in a really long time. And that’s saying a lot. A few minutes later, after deducing, pinpointing, and strategizing, I located the aforementioned device – several different types and brands, actually – and all just a few feet away from where I had this conversation with Stupid Salesperson Dude.

Dumb people frustrate me.

That doesn’t even include the time I sold a digital camera to a lady at Best Buy…with the sales guy standing right there. He couldn’t answer a single question the lady was asking; but it was a good thing I was there to pick up the slack and convince her that this was the camera for her. The sales guy marveled, and probably felt pretty useless; and I can’t argue, but he really was.

…and all this to solidify my geeky status. But I could care less.

Last night, my dad and I made a run for the border for some tacos at Taco Bell…and along the way, we utilized my new WiFi locator to source and locate local WiFi networks. There were surprisingly very few where we thought they would be. We drove by the SDSU sororities, though, and along with some girls walking down the street in their underwear (literally, not joking…) we found several hotspots. I guess there’s a dual meaning, there. ;)

I got some prints done at CostCo today. Those people do some fantabulous work. I highly recommend them. Aside from the photographic work I did today, I’m working on video now. Although, I will probably call it quits until tomorrow since I’m pretty much tired. I was able to play a little today and record some stuff, audiowise. I didn’t lay anything down since I was pretty much sucking…and because of the excitement with the new canine in the house…but I’m going to plan some stuff out and record sometime down the road.

Well, this has been a pretty long, useless post. Always a pleasure, though, to share with you the insignificant details of my mundane life. Hope your weekend is exciting.