It’s 5:15pm. I’ve started the laborious task of cleaning out my desk. I didn’t want to wait for the last moment because I know that I have tons of crap. Plus, I would rather spend that time saying goodbyes to people that have been a huge part of my life for the last three years.

I stumbled upon old birthday cards and Christmas cards; and just like when I’m cleaning out pictures and letters at home, I had to stop and read a few of them. A lot of the people that signed them aren’t here anymore. And as much as I’m excited for this move, I’m also sad because I’ve lived with these people, man. I spend 9 hours a day in this little box, in this big room, in this building. That’s over 2,000 hours a year. You’re bound to become attached to a few people; even the ones that annoy the heck out of you. Troll, Gumby, etc. I will miss Moss, because she’s eye candy. I’ll miss everyone in the U/W dept, everyone in the doc dept, everyone in the funding dept, setup, etc. I’ll miss “psst-ing” Cyndi as I walk by her desk and Banks walking by to say, “Hey, A!”

And in Aaron Riveroll tradition, I found something in my desk. Something to appropriately commemorate this occasion of “last days.” I found a small sheet of bubble wrap. (For those of you who don’t know the meaning, that’s okay.) But I popped a few bubbles, looked at my nearly-empty desk, and made me realize how much I will miss coming here everyday, to a place that eats your soul for breakfast. Where people can be mean, rude, and condescending all in the same phone call. Where people needed things yesterday. A place that I called home for three years. All the bad stuff doesn’t even matter anymore.

But it’s been a good ride. I can’t complain. I look forward to tomorrow.

But I’ll also look back to yesterday…and that will make me smile too.

Good morning all you fine people! I’m going to make this quick because I have a rush file to work on (one of the last few I will ever have to do here!). Woo hoo!

So Brian and myself, along with his ‘rents, headed up to Anaheim yesterday after work to catch the Angels-A’s game. We made super-stinking good time and got there just in time to hear the national anthem (from the parking lot). The game itself was great; Zito pitched an awesome game, as did his counterpart. After a 1 point lead for several innings, the Angels snuck one by to tie it up. The went into extra innings, which of course is characteristic of A’s games. That’s what makes it exciting, right? It was only 9 when I thought, “this game can’t be finished in two hours!” And it wasn’t. They kept going, with several amazing plays on the part of both teams. Finally, the A’s picked another one up to get the lead…and eventually the win. I was on the edge of my seat. It was weird being the minority, surrounded by Angels fans…but we were fortunate enough to sit in a section of A’s fans, so that was good too.

After what was a fantastic game, Brian and I hightailed it to the other side of the stadium and across the huge parking lot to the Amtrak station. At first, we had no clue where we were going, but we found it with no problems, bought our tickets, and boarded for what was definitely a great fact finding mission. Lots of facts were found, and we made it back to San Diego in about an hour and a half. Trains are cool.

Alright, so now I have actual work to do. And even though I only have three more days so I could care less, I’m going to be good. I think I’m going to listen to Kelly Clarkson because she reminds me of a special someone. Alright, more later. And stay tuned for pics (I know, I keep saying that. I’ve been lame).

I just drooled on myself.

It’s amazing what gum (or a hot girl) will make you do. Salivation, baby!

Yesterday after work, I came home and washed my car. And then I did something that I usualy never do.

I talked on the phone.

I yapped like a chick. I fried some brain cells with the cell phone radiation. I evaporated some of my rollover minutes. I schmoozed.

For those of you that know me, talking on the phone is not one of my favorite things to do; but with friends that are far away, I enjoy this modern convenience. But I’m all about face-to-face interaction. Even writing is more fun because I can put some time and thought into what I’m saying. I feel like the “biggest” dork when I’m on the phone; which is only slightly more than the “big” dork that I feel like the other 99% of the time that I’m not on the phone. It was good, but definitely interesting…

First, “Jennifer” called. You see, I don’t know Jennifer because she’s a telemarketer from Florida. She asked if I had a checking account and if I would be interested in signing up for some vacation buying program. The trial period is free, but then $19.95 a month thereafter. Tempting, ain’t it? Especially for a guy who doesn’t go anywhere. :) So I noticed Jennifer’s cute southern accent and asked where she was from. I was informed, with a great deal of other information, that she has lived in every southern state except Kentucky. She is originally from Virginia (at least, that’s where her mom is from). She hates earthquakes, loves thunderstorms and rain. She talked about her mom and her family. She told me what she likes to do after work. She told me all about how she got her telemarketing job and what she did before then. We talked about a bunch of random details about her life that are too numerous to mention. I was on the phone with her for 20 minutes talking about everything but what she was trying to sell me. When I finally told her I wasn’t interested, she asked if she could call back. I asked if it would be her calling back, and she playfully giggled and said she wasn’t sure. But I did hear her asking for a pen and paper to get my number for a “personal” call. I said, “hun, if only you weren’t several hundred miles away.” She giggled. It was a good conversation, even though it was a telemarketer.

And again, if you know me, you know that talking to telemarketers is something I do for fun. :)

Another girl called, a girl that I met a while back, and we talked for about 2 hours about nothing. But it was so relaxing.

And then I was able to talk with Katrin, who is in town but is just oo busy for me. :) We tenatively planned some quality time. She’s going to pencil me in.

So I guess you could say it was an interesting phone evening.

Wanna call me? :)

At the indirect suggestion of my cool friend, Shea, I have broken down and actually watched several episodes of Laguna Beach. They had like marathons this weekend, so I watched a couple of episodes. And as cheesy and drama-filled it is, I am strangely addicted to it. I couldn’t bring myself to change the channel.

So there you have it. A confession, of sorts.

And apparently, I’m Talan. After all, we both have the same ultimate goal.

===

Take the quiz: “Which Laguna Beach Character are You?”

Talan
you are cute.. but your ultimate goal is to score the perfect chick

Well, we are back and I’m blogging. I had this definite disconnection from society, even though I was in a place surrounded by people all weekend. Weird. I’m a tech geek at heart, I suppose. But despite the lack of internet, we had a blast in Vegas. Video and photos to come. Oh, and we had fun at Dave Matthews too…the details, I wrote about on the way to Vegas. Anyway, if you are curious about the happenings of the weekend, read on… (more…)

It’s funny how stupid people are, even the ones who think they are so clever. I mean, come on guys, why don’t you try pulling a more intricate, well-thought out plan?

Oh wait. Here’s a thought? How’s about you send me a random email (with poor grammar and spelling, mind you), and ask me to hand over my account information??

For an account I don’t even have!

Genius or stupid crook? I’ll let you decide on that one. The latest is Wells. Before, it was Bank of the West. And even if I did have accounts at these places, I can honestly say that I’m not stupid.

Anyway, I thought that was so freakin’ funny that I had to have a little morning rant and rave about it. :)

I have posted a couple more pics from the Pads game a few weeks ago, courtesy of Ab-Faye and her spankin’ new cam.

In case you forgot where the pics were, click here.

Just a few images from last nights concert. They are a little blurry, but cool looking anyway.

Perhaps it wasn’t a wise idea to wear a long-sleeved shirt to work today; but I thought I would start my “countdown to WaMu” by actually dressing business casual. Tomorrow it’s jeans and a short-sleeve for this guy. It’s a little warmer than I would like it.

And just watch…it’s gonna be freezing here tomorrow.

Well, the rest of my weekend was quite eventful. I met with Keri and Sir Scott (whom I haven’t seen in close to a year or more), and we went to dinner at BJ’s (mmm, Pazookie!). It was great to be able to catch up with them and ride in Keri’s new ’stang (“Lucky!” *spoken in a true Napoleon Dynymite-esque way*) We also saw Dukes of Hazzard, which was also appropriate in light of Keri’s new car; I wanted to joy ride home after the movie, but she didn’t think that was such a great idea. Oh darn! :) The movie was great too; highly entertaining. And of course, Jessica Simpson is an absolute goddess! I’ve said it once or twice, and I’ll say it again; Nick Lachey is a lucky man. Jess is absolutely gorgeous, sexy, hot in this movie…and the antics of Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville are funny too. Definitely an entertaining couple of hours. Not oscar material; but then again, who goes to see a movie like that for anything more than entertainment? I liked it. :)

Also managed to squeeze in another photo shoot; this time with a dude (yeah, gotta be well-rounded), and the pictures came out pretty decently. I’m really starting to enjoy shoots more and more as I get to know what I’m doing. All part of the learning process. I’m going to get a gallery up and running with some photos from shoots with Megs and Dea and others…I’m still trying to put together my portfolio for our business site and of course, takes time I don’t have. So sad. :(

Last night, Danny and I headed out to Copley Symphony Hall for the Ben Folds / Rufus Wainwright show. Talk about a smashing good time! The show was outstanding, with some highlights being the Dr. Dre song and Philosophy (with the dancing girl that rushed up to the stage and started the mob trend). Everything rocked, though. Pics to come later, so stay tuned…

Another highlight, aside from Ben and Rufus and their general awesomness, was Ben Lee, who opened for them. Very talented dude with a great sound. I would definitely advise anyone who has ears to give him a listen because it was a very enjoyable experience to hear his music.

And that brings us to today. Monday. Ugh. I wish it were Sunday…because that’s my fun day. More blogging later…now, it’s Ben Folds on the iPod and icky files to work on. Don’t work too hard, people!

Do you ever notice how some things just aren’t good anymore? I used to watch this program called Attack of the Show (formerly The Screen Savers) and I admit I enjoyed the quirky techie news. I enjoyed looking at Sarah Lane and hearing her *speed read* through the latest headlines. But Kevin Rose left. And I’m not saying he was the glue that held the show together, the very pillar everyone else depended on…but I am saying the show is now missing something. I tune in now and it just seems sort of lame. I tuned in tonight and there was a large dude cohosting with “the other Kevin,” and he occasionally nodded and did the whole “uh-huh” thing; basically like he didn’t know what was going on. And I guess they were going to show some video feed, but due to some technical difficulties, it didn’t play. What’s up with that, guys? Aside from Sarah Lane looking so hot, I just don’t have the desire to tune in anymore.

The same goes for Saturday Night Live. I mean, come on! It once was a great time passer and a hoot to watch. There are some classic sketches that will forever be remembered (Schmidts Gay, Chippendales’, the Motivational Speaker, etc.) and there were some greats that emerged as comic stars. But now, it just isn’t funny. Is it possible that they ran out of jokes? Whatever the reason, the show just ain’t good no more. And don’t even get me started on ER…

One by one, the original cast members have moved on to bigger and better things; the most recent is Noah Wyle, the last original cast member. I’ve heard rumors of Sherry Stringfield (an original member who left for a while) thinking about leaving County General as well. Pretty soon, that show may lose a little something too.

Basically, people leave. Move on to other things. And when the cool people leave, whatever they are leaving loses the coolness factor. Which is yet another reason the move from UBOC is good. All the cool people are leaving. I’m cool, so I must go where the party is. :) I don’t know…just thought that was a funny social observation as I sit here bored out of my mind watching t.v. Ooooh, Monk is coming on. I’ll check that one. :)

Hello people! I’ve been staying busy as ever…right now, I’m taking a break to blog in the midst of laundry and car washing. I even cut my hair, just to show you how productive I’m being. :)

The last 24 hours have been fun-filled. Work was dumb as always; but I didn’t really do much work. I’ll admit it. I just don’t care if so-and-so needs their loan documents on Monday or if someone’s rate lock is going to expire. I don’t care if they need conditions reviewed or if a sales manager is requesting a “rush” (which by the way, doesn’t mean a darn thing to me anymore). But, I am going to do my best the next two weeks. I promise.

After work, we headed over (after much confusion) to Players Bar and Grill for happy hour, since the 94th Aero Squadron was packed out. But we had a nice time, tossed back a couple cold ones, and just schmoozed. Cardenas’s last day was on Wednesday, so we wanted to send him off properly. There was a ESPN NFL cheerleader special on the big screen, and our cute waitress even brought me two extra tacos; I wonder what that means?? She must have picked up on my overwhelming machismo. ;) But we definitely had a good time.

Brian and I then took off and went over to Deanna’s place; she was cooking for us because she’s just awesome like that. Danny met us there and we ate a beefy stew with noodles and tossed back a couple more cold ones. She even gave us cookies and milk. :) When we were done with dinner and cookies, we met a small group at The Blarney Stone, a small little pub-like establishment up by Clairemont. It was good seeing some people I hadn’t seen in a while and watching the scandalous antics up at the front of the bar. ;)

Anyway, a good time was had, I slept hard…and now I have a busy afternoon including a photo shoot and dinner with Scott and Keri. So I will write more later.

Well my friends, it’s official. Another chapter in my life will soon be over, with another just beginning. I have resigned my position at Union Bank of California and accepted a position at Washington Mutual. I’ve been with UBOC for almost three years and I have enjoyed my time there and learned a lot. I came in not knowing anything to being one of the oldest, more experienced wholesale processors. I’m going to miss my team and my friends, but even though I’m a little nervous and scared I think this will be an exciting opportunity for me. I mostly will be doing the same thing I’m doing now; a little different, but mostly the same. I will be a little closer to home, so I can save some dinero on gas. I will be making a little more, so I can take all you ladies out for dinner. :) And it will be a good atmosphere too. But different. And you know how I deal with change. So, I ask for your prayers as I go into this new venture. It should be fun.

So I just read through my previous post and realized that it made absolutely no sense whatsoever. But that’s life, kids. It was more of a venting session for me since I needed someone to listen to me go off and there was no one here to share with. Besides that, all that fancy wording, metaphor, etc just to say I think I may like a girl and I don’t quite know what to do with it. My new attitude would say Carpe Diem. After all, I would regret losing the moment down the road. But I’m just not quite sure how to approach it, or how to even acknowledge these new feelings I’m finally admitting to myself. That is the jist.

Today was yet another day at work. Some cheeseball chewed me out on the phone; but he’s really an insignificant loser and likes to whine when he doesn’t get his way. I could care less. I always thought it would be great to continue in this business as a mortgage broker; but when it becomes all about the dollar and treating people like crap, that is where I have to draw the line. Most of these fools are manipulators, liars, and greedy money grubbing idiots. Who wants to live like that? I would rather be poor and happy than rich and a jerk. Seems like the words “rich” and “jerk” go very well together, don’t they?

Brian and myself went out with two of our “colleagues” tonight; two lovely ladies from our friendly, Poway neighborhood UBOC branch. We took in the movie Four Brothers, which was an interesting flick. Not sure what I think about it yet, so I will get back to you. But we had a good time.

Anyway, gotta get to bed. Good night for now.

I am in an interesting mood right now. I started writing a letter to a friend I had just seen a few hours ago; but yet, I stopped because it was pathetic. So then I resorted to the vast hole that is MySpace, yet I found myself looking, staring, lost, confused. More confused than anything else.

This same friend (to whom I started writing) wrote in her blog some of the things that I have been feeling for a while. It seems we are going through some of the same stuff, emotion-wise. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not the greatest friend; my closest friends sometimes get annoyed at how closed I am. Here I am thinking I am as open as I can possibly be, yet there things going on inside my head and my heart that you wouldn’t even believe. A battle raging. I just can’t find the way to share, to open myself to vunerability. Maybe, in a sense, I feel I’m softening the blow by building walls; setting myself up for the worst. I’ve been disappointed many times in my life (who hasn’t), but I think it’s made me become this person who always expects the worst. I let myself have this glimmer, this miniscule, tiny bit of hope…I don’t climb as high as I can because I figure if I fall, I won’t have that far to go.

Let me give you some examples from my past…there was a girl in junior high and her name was Sarah. We were in choir and art together. She was a cool chick. Very cool. Ultra cool. But for some reason, it wasn’t until after high school that I realized that the feelings I had for her were actually more. A crush, if you will. I didn’t admit it because maybe I thought it was insignificant. Or maybe I was afraid to admit to myself, and to the world, that I had feelings for this person. They were small feelings, but they were feelings…and I just ignored them and waved them away, like a fly buzzing in my ear. It’s like they weren’t even there because I missed my chance. But that was a long time ago. We were still good friends and maybe I just let it stay that way because things were comfortable. Maybe I was afraid of loosing what I had? Maybe I thought these feelings were so insignificant that they weren’t worth mentioning.

I think it’s the last one. I think it’s because I didn’t want to start a hoopla over something that probably wouldn’t pan out. There’s a song from the movie Dick Tracy called “What can you lose?” that covers this topic nicely:

What can you lose?
Only the blues.
Why keep concealing everything you’re feeling?
Say it to her, what can you lose?
Maybe it shows,
She’s had clues, which she chose to ignore.
Maybe though she knows,
And just wants to go on as before.
As a friend, nothing more
So she closes the door.

Well, if she does
Those are the dues.
Once the words are spoken,
Something may be broken.
Still, you love her
What can you lose?

But what if she goes?
At least now, you have part of her.
What if she had to choose?

Leave it alone
Hold it all in.
Better a bone
Don’t even begin.
With so much to win,
There’s too much to lose.

These days I’m up to the same old tricks. Again, there is a cool girl in the picture. She’s hot too. Yes, it’s logisitcally possible to be both. :) But for the first time in the many years I’ve known her, I’ve only recently admited to myself that I *might* have feelings for her. I’ve always told myself she was “like a sister to me.” Ugh! Those are the same, dreaded words that the nice guy always hears. What was I thinking?!? :)

Now, don’t misinterpret the above paragraph for infatuation by any means. Well, perhaps a little bit of infatuation. :) Maybe more than just infatuation, too. These feelings have been around for a while and are only recently being talked about, discussed, and admitted. And all that just to say I am not as open of a book as I thought I was.

And what’s my major malfunction this time? What has become the excuse? Is she too good for me? (Well, she is, but that’s beside the point). Not my type? I’ve used that excuse a million times. Or maybe I don’t want to make a big deal about it? Why talk to my friends about it? It’s not that they’ll be judgemental (they never have been), but maybe it’s because when I finally admit it to them, I’m admitting it to myself. It makes it real. And at that point, I’m setting myself up for disappointment. Maybe I’m afraid she’ll get wind of my feelings and freak out like many other girls have in the past (which is funny, because I saw one such girl in passing this weekend…but that’s another story altogether…)

I’ve talked myself out of this one too long, I think. But just like all my other personality flaws (I admit I have them), who knows if this is something that can be fixed??

But it’ll be interesting to see, though, won’t it? Stick around for the next chapter.