Aaron Riveroll | Photographer

If you’re a dude that has ever watched America’s Funniest home Videos, you know what I’m talking about. Even though we find a little humor in the crazy crotch violations…as a guy, we also feel the pain. We can relate. It’s painful to watch another dude get kicked in the balls because hey, we’ve all been there at one point. And let me tell you (for the benefit of the girls reading this)…it is not a warm, fuzzy experience.

So as I sat watching Marty get shot down by Rory last week on Gilmore Girls, there was something inside of me that could emphathize.

To recap for those of you who don’t watch GG on a regular basis: Rory Gilmore is a sophmore at Yale. It’s been an interesting year so far and she’s met some new people. She’s just come off an interesting relationship, most recently that of a married guy (no, nothing TOO scandalous…her exboyfriend, Dean). So she’s looking for love in all the wrong places. She finally meets a guy, Logan, who manages to capture her interest. He’s rich and with the in crowd, which is typically not her style at all…but he’s not a bad pairing for her. And then there’s Marty…granted, she met him while he was passed out naked in the hall…but that was last year. This year is a whole new ball game. Marty seems to be the genuine nice guy: someone who will go the extra mile for the girl he adores. The gentleman. The type of a guy a girl should go crazy for. But I have to admit…this season, I have cringed everytime Rory has treated him like a “friend.” We all know the situation…you think you’re getting close to a girl and then ‘BAM!” she pulls the friend card.

Girls, this is a painful thing. We know you aren’t as aloof as you sometimes seem to be. I mean, what ever happened to women’s intuition? You gotta know that a guy is into you. And if you know we’re in to you , it’s so wrong to string us along with “one-on-one” hang out sessions or other events …things that spin our heads and make us believe you have feelings for us. You have to be honest with yourself, and with the guy, as to where we stand. If you are not feeling it, tell him…before it’s too late. Especially if you really care about the guy and your friendship with him. If you wait too long to tell him you don’t reciprocate his feelings of devotion…well, let’s just say any friendship might be dangling on a piece of thread.

So back to Rory and Marty. Rory is into Logan, but misses Marty’s friendship. Without a thought in her mind, except that she misses hanging out with Marty, she invites him to her place for a little movie watching. Sounds like fun. Sounds like quality time with a girl. Sounds like quality alone time with a girl. What is wrong with this picture? Halfway through, the potential boyfriend, Logan, shows up wanting to take his best girl out…but she’s hanging with Marty. So let’s go out for Chinese food…and Marty, even though you two were in the middle of a movie, why don’t you come along. Why not?? Sure…make him feel awkward and out of place. Extreme circumstances tends to bring out the honesty in people…so it’s no surprise when Marty comes out with his true affections for Rory. And Rory, of course, has no choice to reciprocate his honesty by letting him know she’s likes Logan. But the part that gets me is that after breaking his heart, she asks if he wants to stay and finish the movie. She asks if they are still friends. Now, that isn’t totally unreasonable. I, for one, enjoy having a bunch of cute girls as “just friends” (no sarcasm either). But yeah, after you basically kicked me in the balls, you proceeded to laugh at me whilst I was rolling on the ground in pain.

We would all like stories like that to end on a positive note; to hear that candy and money do in fact grow on trees…where it’s summer every day of the year and there are flowers in bloom everywhere. A perfect world. But such a place does not exist, and heartbreak is a common occurrence. Cute girls end up with the bad boys. And nice guys end up calling it a night early…because they just metaphorically got kicked in the crotch by a cute girl who claims she didn’t know your true feelings. Or pretended to ignore it. I, personally, enjoy rolling around in the fetal position. It’s my new weekend activity.