If you’re a dude that has ever watched America’s Funniest home Videos, you know what I’m talking about. Even though we find a little humor in the crazy crotch violations…as a guy, we also feel the pain. We can relate. It’s painful to watch another dude get kicked in the balls because hey, we’ve all been there at one point. And let me tell you (for the benefit of the girls reading this)…it is not a warm, fuzzy experience.

So as I sat watching Marty get shot down by Rory last week on Gilmore Girls, there was something inside of me that could emphathize.

To recap for those of you who don’t watch GG on a regular basis: Rory Gilmore is a sophmore at Yale. It’s been an interesting year so far and she’s met some new people. She’s just come off an interesting relationship, most recently that of a married guy (no, nothing TOO scandalous…her exboyfriend, Dean). So she’s looking for love in all the wrong places. She finally meets a guy, Logan, who manages to capture her interest. He’s rich and with the in crowd, which is typically not her style at all…but he’s not a bad pairing for her. And then there’s Marty…granted, she met him while he was passed out naked in the hall…but that was last year. This year is a whole new ball game. Marty seems to be the genuine nice guy: someone who will go the extra mile for the girl he adores. The gentleman. The type of a guy a girl should go crazy for. But I have to admit…this season, I have cringed everytime Rory has treated him like a “friend.” We all know the situation…you think you’re getting close to a girl and then ‘BAM!” she pulls the friend card.

Girls, this is a painful thing. We know you aren’t as aloof as you sometimes seem to be. I mean, what ever happened to women’s intuition? You gotta know that a guy is into you. And if you know we’re in to you , it’s so wrong to string us along with “one-on-one” hang out sessions or other events …things that spin our heads and make us believe you have feelings for us. You have to be honest with yourself, and with the guy, as to where we stand. If you are not feeling it, tell him…before it’s too late. Especially if you really care about the guy and your friendship with him. If you wait too long to tell him you don’t reciprocate his feelings of devotion…well, let’s just say any friendship might be dangling on a piece of thread.

So back to Rory and Marty. Rory is into Logan, but misses Marty’s friendship. Without a thought in her mind, except that she misses hanging out with Marty, she invites him to her place for a little movie watching. Sounds like fun. Sounds like quality time with a girl. Sounds like quality alone time with a girl. What is wrong with this picture? Halfway through, the potential boyfriend, Logan, shows up wanting to take his best girl out…but she’s hanging with Marty. So let’s go out for Chinese food…and Marty, even though you two were in the middle of a movie, why don’t you come along. Why not?? Sure…make him feel awkward and out of place. Extreme circumstances tends to bring out the honesty in people…so it’s no surprise when Marty comes out with his true affections for Rory. And Rory, of course, has no choice to reciprocate his honesty by letting him know she’s likes Logan. But the part that gets me is that after breaking his heart, she asks if he wants to stay and finish the movie. She asks if they are still friends. Now, that isn’t totally unreasonable. I, for one, enjoy having a bunch of cute girls as “just friends” (no sarcasm either). But yeah, after you basically kicked me in the balls, you proceeded to laugh at me whilst I was rolling on the ground in pain.

We would all like stories like that to end on a positive note; to hear that candy and money do in fact grow on trees…where it’s summer every day of the year and there are flowers in bloom everywhere. A perfect world. But such a place does not exist, and heartbreak is a common occurrence. Cute girls end up with the bad boys. And nice guys end up calling it a night early…because they just metaphorically got kicked in the crotch by a cute girl who claims she didn’t know your true feelings. Or pretended to ignore it. I, personally, enjoy rolling around in the fetal position. It’s my new weekend activity.

I was driving to work yesterday morning and I was behind this ugly, stumpy little car that was driving “snail speed,” which in and of itself is annoying when you have to be somewhere. Seriously, what is the deal with the Mini Cooper? It’s a coffin on wheels…who would voluntarily drive that? To me, there is nothing impressive about the car. It’s just tiny and boring. Whoever think that size doesn’t matter, they should rethink the Mini Cooper. Don’t get me wrong; small is not necessarily bad. For instance, back in high school, Caroline, the head cheerleader, was probably one of the cutest girls I knew…and she was small. :) You can have your tiny cake and eat it too…and there are far nicer small cars with more imagination, class, and style. That’s just my opinion, though. I mean, we’re in America for crying outloud…leave the small cars for the Brits.

Yes, yes … it is true. Let me give you a minute to recover from the shock. Okay … I realized tonight what one of my many flaws are. Every so often, I have these breakthrough moments when I realize a flaw, a pet peeve, or some other personality quirk. Tonight, it was my fear of being vulnerable. I don’t like to admit it, probably because of my recently-discovered fear of being vulnerable. :) Let me start from the beginning …

When I’m with a girl that I find attractive or drawn to, I put on this facade of confidence … In other words, not being me. There’s nothing wrong with being confident; but not being me is a totally different story. I’m a nice guy … and I guess I always will be. I think recently I’ve been trying to hide it because being the Nice Guy has not worked for me in the past. I guess I have also given up on “love,” so to speak. Now, I really hope that’s not true … but it sure feels like it is. Why can’t I be honest with myself? Why can’t I be honest with girls that mean a lot to me? Vulnerability.

Vulnerability means letting my guard down, setting myself up to get hurt. It’s happened to me before. I guess by being a “not-so-nice” guy and by distancing myself, I reduce the chances of a broken heart.

I think this is also why I’m not as open as I think I am. I tend to close myself off, to distance myself from friends, to bottle things up inside … like tonight. Knowing full well that something was bothering me, I chose to hold it in rather than talk to someone about it. That’s my usual MO. Letting someone in on the fact that I’m human sets me up for vulnerability. It makes my problems more real. It’s like to admitting defeat, in a way.

But, I guess I’m human. So sue me.

There’s this lady at work that is the typical “ass kisser.” It’s mostly annoying more than anything, but when it interferes with how I look, it begins to make me think. She is friends with the boss and at all costs, tries to make herself look good while making others look bad. I’m not the only one she does this to either. I know I’m good; I know I am one of the best processors in our department…there are no doubts in my mind. But there’s this lingering thought about how she is making me look…I do not like it when others portray me in a negative light when I know full well in my mind that I exceed expectations. I work hard. I want this to be how others see me. It doesn’t help when people try to jeopardize that.

In the move to La Mesa, I overlooked a couple of my financial liabilities. Not a huge deal, since I did pay them…but still, there’s a principle. I work in the financial world. I don’t like being late on a payment. So while this may not be a total disaster, I do not want this to be a negative reflection of my financial habits. It’s just one more thing to think about…wondering what will happen next.

I am the ringleader in this circus I call life. I am in the midst of working on 3 major projects for clients, aside from my full time job. I am diligently working on a web site and two video projects (one of which I promised to a client a couple weeks ago). It’s not like I neglect my work, but I have a lot to do. So I continue to work…and I continue to worry.

I’ve been doing a lot of that, lately. Working and worrying. Worrying and working. And then I remember jotting down Matthew 6:34 for this very reason:

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”, [NIV The Holy Bible]

It doesn’t make things any easier or remove my obligations, but it does remind me to stop and deal with the things I can today…and that I don’t have to go it alone.

I’m glad it’s a three-day weekend this weekend. I get to hang with my bro tomorrow, so that should be good. Talk to you later…back to work.

The nominees are…well…nominated…and I’m happy to see Bethany Dillon in there several times, specifically for Female Vocalist of the Year, New Artist of the Year, and Pop/Contemporary Album of the Year. Wow…impressive for a new artist, and a 16 year old artist at that. Yes, I know, age doesn’t matter…but she is so stinking talented, it’s not even funny! It was good to Joy Williams up for Female Vocalist of the year…as well as Switchfoot and Michael W. Smith. Switchfoot is up for Song of the Year, Group of the Year, and Artist of the Year. Healing Rain, Michael’s new album, also got several nods…see them all at http://www.gmamusicawards.com/categories/

I had to take my useless car in for servicing (yet again), and they still have not diagnosed the problem. The worst part about it is that I look like a raving lunatic. I couldn’t duplicate the problem when I went on a road test with the technician. But of course as soon as I had gotten back to work, there was the noise. For the freakin’ love. I’m really not crazy, guys…there is something wrong with my car. God didn’t bless me with good looks, charm, or any other macho ability…but the least he could have done for my overwhelming machismo would have been to give me the gift of auto mechanics. I can change a tire, or a windshielf wiper…heck, I can even pump gas. But that’s as far as I go. Why, God, why?

So, I talked the guy into giving me a rental (you understand, this is against policy)…but he gave me one anyway after I laid down the law. Ever driven a rental car before? The ones they have a Drew Ford in La Mesa are pretty nice. They actually use new vehicles in their fleet, so they still look, feel, and drive nice. Last time, I rented an 05 Mustang, but today they gave me an 05 Focus. These cars can zip around! The point of my rambling: these cars are in a sad state. They are new cars, but they are used. What this means for Joe Car Renter: their smell borders on stankyness. It’s like a new car smell mixed in with some sort of funk. It’s sort of new, and sort of old; kinda like if you were to spray a few spritzes of Pleasures or Happy (two of my personal favorites on a girl) over a pile of trash. The overwhelming stank would just overpower the beautiful aroma…you can still sense that the perfume is there, but it’s losing the battle. :(

Ever notice how rappers have the tendancy to spell things out?? I noticed this as I was listening to some ghetto fabulous music today in my stanky rental car. But seriously, it’s like their talking in code…what happened to just saying what you mean to say? I wonder if some of these rappers actually applied themselves in school, perhaps participated in a spelling bee or two. How do you spell dog? Why it’s D-to the Double-G, of course. Dog. Don’t be a fool. Stay in school.

I just worked on a file today where the borrower’s last name was Borg. I couldn’t help but be reminded of Star Trek: TNG and how the Borg almost got away with kidnapping Captain Picard. That would have been a tragic day for us all. Resistance may be futile, but somehow I can’t quite give in to my hunger pains…so off to dinner I go.

Aren’t you glad you tuned in? :)

NGS Media recorded the 2005 Madrigal Dinner this evening…and I have to say that I was very pleased with the results. Not only was the program really nice, but everything technical came together quite well. We have an exceptional team here at NGS Media. :) We only had one SNAFU, of sorts, but really we can work around it. Everything from the interviews, to the footage and the audio really came together well. I am excited once again to start working on this project.

It was really neat to see so many new, young faces in the group. It’s sad that I hardly know any of them (and even sadder that Jennifer Stein wasn’t there…it just wasn’t a Madrigal Dinner without Jenny)…but they put on a good show. Lots of cute girls too in the group (is that okay for me to say?!). But we had a blast. Here are some visuals of the evening.

Good night for now.

When I was a kid and my dad would drive me and my sister around we would often listen to Chicago, which was my dad’s favorite band. They are a good band, there’s no doubt about that. But they sing this song called Another Rainy Day in New York City…and we thought it was the funniest thing that when that song came on, my dad turned on the windshield washers and sprayed water all over the window. It still makes me laugh.

Well folks, I’m still trying to decide what I’m going to do for lunch today. I’m coming to you live from the middle of a parking lot. Isn’t technology swell? I did a search of free wireless WiFi hot spots and found one just down the street from where I work. So now, if I get the urge to fool around on the computer on my time (as opposed to the bank’s time), I can just cruise down the road and hang out in a parking lot. And if I want a sandwich, a burrito, an ottoman, or my hair cut, all of those options are readily available to me as well.

It is has been a weird two weeks…last week with moving and this week with, well, just stuff in general. Trying to settle in, get used to a new routine. It’s been the longest week ever too. I’m glad that it’s Friday and it’s finally over and that we’re moving on with our lives. “Our,” in the royal-plural sense of the word.

Man, this rain came out of nowhere…it has been so nice all week too. I mean, change is good (although we all know about me and change), but seriously. It just rained a few weeks ago! And now I hear there’s a big storm a-brewin’. That’s quite unfortunate for those of us that want to go outside and play. But again, I’ll get over it.

This weekend is also the Madrigal Dinner at PLNU. And of course, NGS Media will be there to film it. I was hoping to have some nice toys to aid us in the filiming, but we will have to make do with what we have. Last year’s came out okay, so we should be alright. And we are sporting new audio equipment, so it will at least sound better. Like I don’t have enough to do, right?

Wow, it’s weird sitting in my car having people all look at me typing away on my computer. It’s like I’m doing some really cool secret stuff…but in actuality, I’m just writing in my blog. :) If they only knew. I feel like a fish in a bowl. *makes a fishy face*

Business is going good…I have been diligently working on the CGS Ministries web site and trying to get the graphics in order for that. I also just completed Sonja’s recital (just shy of an eternity). I think it went well, though. I have another video project coming up that I have to get done pretty quickly too, so at least I will be busy for a while. It will keep me off the streets.

I think that pretty much fills you in on the recent events transpiring in my life. I will write to you all again soon. Later.

I sure wasn’t…I slept in today…and I slept hard, and good. Brian came over and checked out the new place and we went to lunch at Mimi’s Cafe in Mira Mesa. In more NGS news, Brian purchased a new vehicle…new, used, vehicle. A Hyundai Sonata. So I missed most of the game. Not a big deal. Paul McCartney was okay…he always is. Anyway, here are some photos from this afternoon…crusin’ in the new ride and meeting up with Trevor at Mimi’s:

Also, some pics from the ride along last night are posted. It was a bit dark, but you get the idea. Dan is the man.

Click here to see the ride along pictures.

I went on my first ride along with Officer Daniel Harrison tonight … it was good. It started with a tour of the station; the Dispatch room is awesome. One of the dispatchers is really cool…cute too. We drove around a bit, tried to find some stuff, pulled over quite a few cars. You know, the usual. For the love … the hotties were out in full force tonight, which I assume is the norm for San Diego State. Wow. I think I gave myself whiplash. ;)

Our big call of the night was when we assisted another officer on a DUI stop. There was actually another ride along out there, as well as three other officers out on the stop. The dude was 19, and although he seemed okay, it was apparent that he was pretty smashed. And he was operating a motor vehicle. We spent the next two hours completing the field coordination test (or FCT), the breathalyzer at the station, property inventory and other miscellaneous paperwork at the station. Pretty soon, we had a little party going on as other officers brought in their arrestees: another DUI and two other dudes who were 647F (or drunk in public). It was hilarious watching the two 647F detainees in the holding room trying to get their stories straight. But they were drunk, so it made it even more humerous. I don’t know why, but I think drunk people are funny. The other DUI arrestee was actually pretty cool and cooperative. He knew he screwed up. And then our guy, who was going to school for golf, had snot dripping out of his nose and all over his sweatshirt…and he was catching some z’s with his head on the table. My favorite part was when the cool dispatcher came in and lectured him on the concequences of drinking and driving. I’ll say it again, she was really cool. I seriously can’t stand people that drive drunk.

Anyway, I took off early since the rest of the shift would be devoted to paperwork … but it was a good time. Hope to get into more stuff next time.

As I was driving to the house tonight, I saw a Filibertos on University. Most likely, you will not understand the relevance … but I will have to try out some time since I have been scouting out Mexican food places in the area. So Brittani, wherever you are, I thought about you tonight. :)

Well, I’m off to bed after a night of crime-fighting. I’ll post pictures later.

Well, the move is over…I’m officially no longer a Palermo guy. I have spent the last two days moving everything I own out of my apartment and carting it 30 minutes east to La Mesa. Talk about one nightmare after another. Aside from drama at work, mostly due to non-understanding employers (which is another topic altogether), it was quite the ordeal moving everything into my tiny room. Almost everything fits. My huge desk and plethora of electronic components have proven to be too much. I think I am going to give up on material possessions because quite frankly, I own way too much crap. Seriously. Next time I want to buy something, someone please smack me back into reality.

My big TV, however, looks pretty nice. I watched ER and the Apprentice on it tonight to sort of “break it in.” I must say, it’s passed the test. :)

Well, I think I’m going to have to brave the traffic tomorrow morning, so I must bid you good night. Hope all is well in the real world.